by Seethruskin / Mandatory Panic

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a split between me and Mandatory Panic.. i recorded them in one day and my fingers literally turned blue.


released September 16, 2015

Thanks to Paul for contributing to the split and of fucking course thanks adam for the art. The only dude i go to for it. Also, thank you tayler for listening to the rough demos and saying they were good.



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Seethruskin Charleston, West Virginia

sad-punk named after a jawbreaker song.

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Track Name: SEETHRUSKIN - Survival
I don't wanna just survive
I wanna feel a goddamn purpose
That you told me just has to exist
It's what makes all of this worth it
But I quit believing in fairy tales when I finally heard the songs
And now these days are just too short and nights too long

I'm asleep on the fucking highway
Cars rip my insides to pieces
Tractor trailer tires dry my tears and send me off to Jesus
I wanna see my dead grandfather and my dead grandmother too
And I could maybe even play them a song or two

But my father listens to metal
And my mother loves the smiths
I'm just a snot nose fucking teenager
A desperate little shit
So could I bum a cigarette and maybe a fuckin car ride home
I don't mean to bother you, I just can't be alone

So sister sister wake me up,
I told you months ago
How I've always felt so fucking dead
It's time I made it so
You told me I can't do that to you or chance or Charlotte now that she's here
So it's for you I cling to life despite the fear

Cuz the fear is all I know
The fear is all I live
The fears what wakes me up at night
Desperate, head shot to shit
But I can fake it for those I love and goddamnit do I know why
Survivals simply someone's not wanting you to fucking die
Before the cigarettes were boring
Before nihilism was normalcy
Before giving up was the best plan I had
And staying young seemed dumb
I remember stories of streets paved with gold
Flying flags on, false gods untold
Promoting from within
Seemed exceptional to me

And when I was too young to understand what I said
I raised my hand to my heart
For the blue white and red
I swear the traditionalism preached in school house walls
Fucked me up more than any other source

And I was raised being told I held no respect
So I gave in and showed them what I really felt
Fuck your authority, wallow in your martyrdom now
And for every fucking night I felt a fucking ghost
There was a day full of fear
As the poems showed
Imagine waking up someone else
In a different bed in a different time

When you told me that you wanna dress in women's clothes
And you told me you're so lost and you feel so alone
And that you quit believing in God
Because he quit believing in you

And you beg every night to not have to see the sun
In the morning, burning in the heat of revolution
There's more massive things to worry about
Than being pretty and less dead than you've felt
Track Name: SEETHRUSKIN - Donald Trump Is A Fucking Garbage Can (demo)
I watch the hands reach from the mirror's glass
They grip my hair and drown me in the silence inside them
I quiver soft and blue, eyes bulge red, pulsing to
The batting of a moths wings, in search of flame for shelter

And I babble neon lights, I gasp for loneliness,
I dig my feet into the sand to pack the holes drilled in my chest
My head is telling me to go, to never fall in one of them.
They've been my home in centuries past

And October wind can fill my blood,
String up like dead cats, the needle sinks low in outrage
I grew up facing heroes, biting heels and groping boot straps
Never cutting close enough to save
I'm never bright, I'm a burnt out light bulb you can't save

Don't bleed me dry I'm much to young to be washed up,
Debris brought from the ocean
I miss the salt between my lips,
The Crimson red into oil spills
I am the paint brush dried in stiff plank of negligence
I am the sense of dread that lives inside your sheets
Beg me to fall asleep

And in my younger years which those who live grow green in envy for
I sat, a mouse in rattlesnake cages, blinking dangerous
I avoid the eye contact the pavement tries to maintain
It judges me in inclination

I never bothered you, I never told a soul
I just grew old tired and lonely,
Sunken face caved into gold
I'll never be this fucking young again, as young as I am tonight,
I've never felt so goddamn